Oh... you meant cease AND desist!

Crazy always had a problem with self-control... with saying no... or with simply stopping anything he wasn't supposed to do. This was a pervasive issue. What I mean is that if I told crazy, "leave me alone," this would often be responded to with a flurry of phone calls, emails, and texts. I'm not sure what part of "leave me alone" he translated into "yes, please continue to harass me!" but I suppose that's how he took it.

Anywho, after the myspace hacking incident there was further communication on Crazy's part. Crazy decided to reach out under the guise that a family member needed some advice from me. Hmmm... asking for favors from the ex-girlfriend you've been tormenting for the last few months doesn't seem like a great idea, but okay. Anyways, not being crazy myself but perhaps using bad judgement, I decide to be the bigger person and say yes, I'll provide some assistance on a limited basis. Big mistake.

Some background: Crazy didn't want his family to know that we had broken up... Crazy isn't always honest with his family... why I didn't see this as a sign that lying comes easy to him I'll never know. Also, at this point I had already told Crazy to stop contacting me despite his numerous texts/emails/calls/etc...With this in mind, the following email exchange occurs:

Me: "[Your family] can call my office number. However, please note that I'm not going to be dishonest if anyone asks me anything about us, meaning, I'm not going to refer to myself as your girlfriend, etc. I won't bring it up but I'm also not going to be dishonest...I'm happy to answer your family's questions "

Crazy: "They arent going to ask you about us. They dont care. They just need help...Whenever I tell them, I'm telling them you cheated on me"

My internal dialogue: Oh HELLS to the no! He did not just go there! Because while I'll admit that I made my mistakes, I never cheated on him. He wants to lie? Okay, gloves are off, offer to help rescinded!

Me: "...despite the fact that I have asked you to leave me alone VARIOUS times, and REPEATEDLY-you continue to text me, and emailme, about various things. I have no idea why you are doing this...I've done my best to ignore all of these texts/emails, since I've asked you to leave me alone. However, I've been nice enough to respond and even offer myself as a resource when your family needs help."

Crazy: "Don't worry about me. I will just check the obituaries section and someday when you die, I will show up to your funeral with a big fat smile on my face :-)...Never needed you for anything anyway. You are good for nothing. Bitch."

Now let's reflect for a moment. I don't consider myself an irrational person or one who acts without thinking. But when someone says they'll smile when you die... yeah, probably a sign you don't want that person near you. Probably a sign you want them restrained ... or their activity to cease... Well, I decided to try for the latter (only b/c the former required me to go to court and I don't have as much time as Crazy to dedicate to these things). I sent Crazy a cease and desist letter, stating that from here on out, he should only contact me via my attorneys. Lawyered.

Now, the BEST part of the story is that Crazy was actually finishing his thesis that day. I found out later that Crazy had stayed up all night finishing his thesis, had driven to Modesto to get signatures from his advisors, and had driven back to his work office to finish submitting his thesis. Exhausted (presumably from driving and not from being an asshole), Crazy sat at his desk and proceeded to open his mail before finishing, only to find my cease and desist letter. Oh the timing, there is some justice in this world. At any rate, Crazy spent an hour trying to draft a response but eventually gave up and returned to his thesis.

Clearly, the story doesn't end here since our last contact was this very month... What happened between then and now includes more lies, more deceit, some humor, and a pineapple, but definitely nothing near ceasing or desisting.

Disclaimer: Okay, a pineapple was never involved, but you really should watch 'how I met your mother,' they do have a story about a pineapple and it's much better than mine (mainly b/c I don't have one).

Crazy doesn't look good on anybody

This is one of the better stories, but not the best. That one is still yet to come. "Crazy doesn't look good on anybody" is a saying that I use often now because of a particularly heinous display of craziness from the Ex. But first, some background. Crazy works for the state government, and thus does not only convene with high profile people but also has access to people who know how to do things... crazy things... like hacking into people's myspace pages (I had a myspace, don't judge me).

A few weeks after Crazy and I had split (we went on a break, but break, break-up, semantics, blah) I decided to go on a date. New guy (a.k.a. random white guy= rwg) and I grabbed coffee and then drinks at a bar right next door. With rwg there was no hand-holding, no kissing, no nothing. All the while, Crazy, leering from a distance, starts sending texts along the lines of "I'm going to put that guy in the E.R.," as well as a play by play of where exactly we were going and what we were doing. Later that night, Crazy went on to tell me things like I would regret ever moving to town and that since he was in politics, he had better ways of seeking revenge than turning to violence. Yeah, that's always fun to hear...

The next morning I awoke to several texts from friends asking what had happened to my Myspace account. After several attempts at logging in (I couldn't b/c my password had been changed) I finally reset my password and entered to see that my picture, my music, and the "about me" section had all been changed. Friends had been deleted and others had new messages sent to them. The background was changed and my pictures had new comments and captions. Highlights included my song changed to "I'm a bitch" or something to that effect and the about me section mentioning that "If there's one word that best describes me it's probably B-I-T-C-H." Classy... yep.

For those wondering... yeah, you can be criminally prosecuted for hacking into people's social networking account and messing with the contents... Just sayin'

Also, later he told me that someone working for the State had hacked into the account. And I mean hacked, since he never had my password. Because hello... would you give your password of anything to Crazy?